Monday, October 16, 2006

The life of a frustrated kingmaker

One of my employers got a subscription offer back with the following words inscribed in BIG RED LETTERS:

"Not while Mark Bourrie writes for you. Warren Kinsella".

Now, that's just downright mean. I pick up the Hill Times every week, (mostly for the pictures) and, even though I get it free, I don't slag it because they run Warren Kinsella's drivel. And I read the National Post sometimes, too. I want to know what I'll be missing in a month or two. And I don't believe the rumor that Kinsella doesn't get paid for his column.
And I put my garbage out so Waste Management Inc. can pick it up and pile it on Carp Mountain. And I, unfortunately, deal with TicketMaster sometimes. And I expect my old carcass to be washed and dressed by a member of the Ontario Funeral Directors Association, in due time. So that means I actually have not boycotted any of Daisy Consulting's major clients. And that's OK, because I know they are proud that their guy sows so much goodwill in the community. He may lie about winning lawsuits, and he may be political toxic waste in Ottawa, but he can still wow the yokels in Toronto, and that keeps a whole family off the welfare rolls and living on Winner's Circle. And that's a good thing.

Meanwhile, in those lo-o-o-ng stretched between Shit From Hell gigs, Warnout finds time to threaten my comments posters and slag my friends. It must be really something to be hung up on pee-pee talk and the decade-old scandals of your landlord's ex-girlfriend, and still be able to get up on stage and play the lefty punk. There's a word for that kind of ethical tapdancer. Starts with an "s", I think.

Oh, well. I suppose playing in Shit From Hell isn't an effective way to blow off all of Chinchilla's anger. Maybe he should try his hands at litigating on behalf of people with real troubles. Pro bono, I suggest. Or writing something that really helps the troubled and marginalized, instead of always arsecreaping the powerful. But that would be walking the Liberal walk, not talking the Liberal talk.

23 comments:

johnny maudlin said...

Mark

You may be interested to know that Warrant Kinsella is about to issue a bounty on my head. Just got an email from the guy, upset with my character analysis, with a cryptic note that he assumes "...family is fair game now..."

This guy is guilty of bugging me, the worst of all possible offences, so I am going to challenge him to a fight. Stay tuned...

Here is his email and my response:

Kinsella:

I assume from your latest foray on the site of Rachel Marsden's stalker that you now consider family fair game. And the apology below, like the person who sent it, is dishonest

My response:

Speaking of stalkers, Warren, what are you doing trolling around the blogosphere? My comments about you on Bourrie's site are fair comment. You are a public figure, notorious for your internet behaviour and apparently convinced you have some divine right to monitor cyberspace.

Note your characterization of Bourrie: "...Rachel Marsden's stalker..." Not very nice, especially for a devout Catholic boy like yourself.

My analysis was accurate and I am going to post this email, with your implied threat (re family) on Bourrie's blog and my own.

Now go and fuck yourself and have a nice day. Make a good act of contrition, say ten Hail Marys and get back to me when your head clears...

Ottawa Watch said...

Wow. Like I insulted his family? Hell, he's the one who held his kid up to ridicule. I was the person who said don't bug the kid, he's just a normal six-year-old.
As for stalking Rachel, well, that's silly. I'm not one of the Wikipidiots dredging up her past or n asshole like Chinchilla or his lard-ass real estate shill buddy "bornwithoutabrain" or whatever his name is, gnashing my teeth about her on a blog. She's a friend of mine. Yup, she's been through a bit and her politics are nutty, but she's a bright, funny person, and, despite the ugly things written about her by Kinsella's shabby clique, she's a neat person who gets a break from me.

Anonymous said...

Talk about serendipity in posting. I was on a more vapid blog when this thought came into my mind:

Is it me or does the side profile of John Mark Karr look like Warrin' Kinsella?

Judge for yourself....
http://perezhilton.com/topics/icky_icky_poo/he_got_what_he_wished_for_20061014.php

I came over here to see that the lead post was about Karsella himself. Eeeerie.....

Anonymous said...

at_he_wished_for_20061014.php

Rest of the truncated link...

johnny maudlin said...

The dark princess of Canadian politics must be very stressed out. This is the only explanation for his remarkably one way skin. His approach is that of a snitch (take a look at his stuff about the Toronto Star) who appears to take a good pleasure from the misfortune of those he considers "enemies".

Speaking of enemas, I think Kinsella is in dire need of one and that's what he is going to get on my blog. But I will try and broaden the issue out a bit, so that it's worthwhile.

This "family" business, that seems such a sort point for him, is also worth analysis. Kinsella has had some trouble, and I suppose he should be granted the same space anyone else would. When he sent me an email today I had the odd impression he felt he had been betrayed, somehow, because at an earlier junction I had apologized for insulting him.

All is fair, baby. I wonder if Kinsella had any sensitivity or second thoughts when he created all kinds of distress for you, Mark, with his threats of a lawsuit. Somehow I doubt it. If he did then it was of the neurotic Catholic type that is not long lasting apparently.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the bitter, angry failures club

johnny maudlin said...

Nice of you to stop by Warren. You know the difference between an angry and bitter failure like me, and one like you is that I have taken that necessary first step to recovery.

I suggest you stick around and get well. Your world is filled with mirrors Warren, and you're looking into one right now.

Karma, by Loyola buddy. I know a good Catholic like you gets nervous when you consider religious constructs outside of the Hail Mary box, but what goes around comes around, for you and I and Mark and John and Paul and George and Pee Wee Herman.

I'm going to spank you Warren, good and hard, and I suggest you take it like a man, consider the lessons being taught and try and be a better boy.

Ottawa Watch said...

You forgot to leave a link. How can we find your club? It could be an interesting experience, like a trip to some kind of bizarro zoo.

johnny maudlin said...

This aspect of Cyber World is sort of icky, no question. I wonder why Kinsella is not able to leave this stuff alone.

I was surprised to get his email, actually. What the hell difference does it make what I think about him, or vice versa. Really?

Again, the stuff about family is maudlin, I think. And that's coming from an expert on things maudlin. It's as if Kinsella feels he has a monopoly on personal tragedy.

Family is fair game? Because I observed he can't leave the freaking internet alone? My observation was accurate as hell.

His family experienced a loss, Kinsella was going to disappear for awhile and that lasted about half a day.

This creates the impression the guy has an insatiable appetite for attention. And punishment.

He's a public figure. If he feels free to attack others, then he is going to god damn well get a taste.

Ottawa Watch said...

His family did experience a loss. His nephew was killed in a car crash. He was just a kid. It really was a tragedy. In fairness, Kinsella stepped away from blogging for a time and, I believe, went to Ottawa to comfort the boy's mom. I think his conduct was completely proper, and, Johnny, you shouldn't go near it.

johnny maudlin said...

I'm not interested in that specific event, Mark. I am making comment on the general picture: that is Kinsella's endless sucking for the media attention, and then his anger when that attention gets negative.

Anyway, I won't belabour the thing here, I sense you're getting nervous.

Ottawa Watch said...

I'm not nervous. Just play fair.

johnny maudlin said...

Fair play? Not sure what that is when dealing with a bully, Mark. I have sort of wrapped the thing up with an attempt at satire.

The best aspect of the web, I think, is the chance to grab information that won't be found elsewhere, certainly not in "mainstream" media.

The rest, though, is like living in a small town with endless bickering about who did or did not take out the garbage, mow the lawn and all the rest.

Ottawa Watch said...

I didn't ask you to play nice, just play fair. You only had one mis-step.
You may enjoy kinsellasux.blogspot.com, a collection of greatest hits from Shit From Hell.

Anonymous said...

I still say he looks like Karr from the side profile. Sure Karr is a bit more emaciated, but the waning pate and facial features are very similar...

johnny maudlin said...

Fair enough, Mark. Just checked out the other blog. What ever happened to We Are Not Afraid? You see, that was a typical and good example of Kinsella's overlarge ego. That comment comes from someone who recognizes his own one-size-too big ego.

I have to say (and this is likely no big revelation) one of the things that bugs me most about Kinsella is he reminds me of myself.

He's so fucking grandiose sometimes. But without the irony, or at least if he tongue is in his cheek I can't locate it. Maybe that's because his foot is in the way.

Ottawa Watch said...

He always reminded me of Brian Mulroney, but without the social skills.

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I'm Rachel Marsden (really). And though I appreciate people's concern for my well-being, rest assured that my friend Mark isn't "stalking" me. There are, however, several other people who are, and I'd really appreciate it if you folks would direct your laser-like intensity on those who are. That would be super.

Cheers,
Rachel

Anonymous said...

I have the perfect place for Kinkella:

"BEIJING (Reuters) - Internet users in southwest China who spread malicious rumors online face fines of up to 5,000 yuan ($630) and possible detention, state media reported on Wednesday in the latest crackdown on dissent.

Under legislation passed in Chongqing municipality, people who post "defamatory comments or remarks, launch personal attacks or seek to damage reputations online" will receive a warning or be fined between 1,000 and 5,000 yuan, the China Daily said."

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=internetNews&storyid=2006-10-18T044410Z_01_PEK79681_RTRUKOC_0_US-INTERNET-CHINA.xml&src=rss&rpc=22

Ottawa Watch said...

$630 bucks. Big money. All the wormy little pseudo-lawyers will be right over.
Maybe they could take advantage of the Chinese while-you-wait organ donor system. No one bothers to check your license to see if you signed the form

Anonymous said...

Kinkella would be the keeper and watcher of the net, for free, weasel that he is...

johnny maudlin said...

Rachel

Let's have their names. I have a bag full of "laser like" intensity I'm dying to unload.

Anonymous said...

I appreciate the sentiment, Johnny. The problem is they're all anonymous cowards hiding behind their computers (or more likely, their mom's computers). If I actually knew their real identities, I doubt they'd be so bold.

Cheers,
Rachel